How wide does a monkey wrench open?

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 19-Oct-2007 8:53:42

A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey and

ordered a drink. While

he was drinking, the monkey jumped all around

the place. It grabbed some

olives off the bar and ate them, then grabbed

some sliced limes and ate

them. It jumped onto the pool table, took one of

the billiard balls,

stuck it in his mouth, and, to everyone's

amazement, somehow swallowed

it whole.





The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see

what your monkey just

did?"

The guy replied, "No, what?"



"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool

table...whole!"



"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the

guy, "he eats everything

in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and

stuff."





He finished his drink, paid his bar bill along

with the stuff the monkey

ate, and walked out.



Two weeks later, he came into the bar again

along with his pet monkey.

He ordered a drink and the monkey started

running around the bar as

before. While the man was finishing his drink,

the monkey found a

maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it,

stuck it up his butt, then

pulled it out and ate it. Then he found a

peanut. This, too, he stuck up

his butt, pulled it out and ate it.





The bartender was disgusted "Did you see what

your monkey did now?" he

asked.

"No, what?" replied the guy.



"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt,

pulled it out, and ate

it. The same with a peanut!"



"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." said the guy.

"He still eats

everything in sight, but ever since he had to

pass that cue ball, he

Post 2 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 19-Oct-2007 8:54:52

measures it!

Post 3 by soaring eagle (flying high again!) on Friday, 19-Oct-2007 10:38:58

Oh boy that's a good laugh!!